Cutting in line results in the teller either informing Postal Dude to carry his ass to the f***ing end or just staring at him blankly wondering why the game's script broke. See, being cleverer than the game isn't too clever. This time just stand there like a goob and wait. Ooh, ain't it fun dying? Alright, reload. A line? What the nuts? Right, just shoot the lot of them and pee like crazy. After dying four times and enjoying a periodical during the many loads, Postal Dude is finally walking into the bank. F***! We don't have time for avoidance, we still have to waste six hours of our lives loading. Sure, it's possible to ditch the cops by letting their awareness meter run dry, and it's possible to lose people on your tail, but that stuff takes a long time. Don't even bother strafing or crouching behind stuff, bullets will still impact flesh. Apparently, in addition to being able to withstand three shotgun blasts or twenty rounds from an assault rifle (when it takes less swings with a shovel to bring a man down, you know you have problems), the people of Paradise are also sharpshooters. It's hard not to die in Postal 2, unless the difficulty is set to one of the cleverly named sissy settings, Postal Dude getting his ass killed by pretty much everyone will be all that's seen for a quite a while. Then we'll die fourteen seconds later! It'll be so f***ing cool. Since we're in the shoes of Postal Dude and playing Postal, we might as well whip out the wang and let a little urine fly on the street, no? After that, we'll spread some gas, light some chumps on fire, and generally be evil. It's ridiculous.īut we're not later into the game yet we're still on our way to the damn bank.
Postal 2 poster trial#
Some areas later into the game get so difficult and are so trial and error intensive that you'll find yourself sitting down for an hour to play and actually spending 45 minutes of that allocated hour loading. There's quick saving, but quick loading is more accurately called exceedingly f***ing long loading, just like everything else. Try and explore the world that's not worth exploring and you're looking at way more loading. Assuming Postal Dude doesn't bite it on his way to the bank, he's still going to hit the initial level load, the load after the cutscene, and the load into where he needs to be. No, it is not tolerable.į***, you'll be loading a lot, too. On my Pentium 4 2GHz, 768MB RAM, Radeon 9700, and 58x CD-ROM drive equipped machine, it takes literally one and a half to two and a half minutes to load. Getting to the bank involves a few loads. His assumedly low-level job at Running With Scissors has been terminated and the last paycheck needs a solid cashing. I don't want to spoil anything like what happens after you meet Gary Coleman or the not so hilarious aftermath of peeing on Daddy's grave, but at one early point in the game Postal Dude has to take a trip down to the bank. A number of ways in this case means two: violent and non-violent.
Most situations can be approached in a number of different ways. Each objective seems clever when it's written on a clipboard, but as soon as Postal Dude attempts to accomplish his tasks, a multitude of problems arise. Sometimes they originate from Postal Dude's sick mind, sometimes they're a necessity, and sometimes they're orders dished out by the woman who dwells in his shanty home (now air-conditioning free). Daily chores must be completed for the game to progress.
Interestingly, Postal Dude can't simply dash about from craphole of a poorly constructed environment to craphole of a poorly constructed environment running amok and slaughtering everyone. Thought I'd say it was cool for the action, didn't you? If such activities bother you not, you'll still find serious fault in Postal 2. If you find fault in lighting Gary Coleman's corpse on fire or expelling an unholy amount of greenish liquid from your diseased trailer park penis onto the hapless, pistol toting citizens of Paradise, Arizona, you'll likely find fault in Postal 2. Regardless, disturbing imagery and content will still be disturbing to some. I've been playing Postal 2 nonstop since yesterday morning and I am now tainted and infected. Murderous rage overcame me when I was unkindly referred to as a "pinko," but before I could unsheathe my taser and swing my shovel at his head, he wandered off. My next task was to request Tal's signature on a petition I was floating around to get Tal fired.
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